Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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time to spruce up!

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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