How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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