Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +29

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops