Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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feminism

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my penis

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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