What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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