What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

Yes

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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