What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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