Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops