An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

I see, listen, we can all get affected by how the world perceives us at times, but the thing is, that if you allow others perception of you to become yours, then you lose yourself, then it does not matter how intelligent, resourceful, wise insightful (etc etc) you are, because it becomes what you where. You are struggling friend, and yes I am biased, you are a woman and I myself often see men as mere obstacles standing in the way for my ladies. Says a lot about me huh? Then again, we are all biased, its not something we can correct, but something we have to accept, only then can we take control over our own "bias", and use it solely to our advantage in order to excel at what we do. I find myself at loss for words, I mean believe me, I personally believe that men that consider other men superior to women, should get themselves a boyfriend instead, and also that they have clearly forgotten that line in that pretty cool movie 300. "Only women give birth to strong men". So ask yourself, do you truly consider yourself inferior because you are an attractive woman? Or are you allowing others to convince you again out of free will, or in other words, letting them get to you? Remember friend, how you choose to perceive yourself is always, ALWAYS a choice, but our society worldwide is structured in a matter, where the choice to allow others to define us rather than to seek for answers within us and change what we do not like and embrace what we love about ourselves, is well... Not an easy one, the world is about the survival of the fittest, but if we define ourselves and our values at the fittest and succeed, others will seek to follow us, people like us are not meant to become athletes nor artists that reach long distances solely to gain the praise of others and worthless gold medals that prove that we showed the world how many times we where willing to run around in circles inspired solely by their praise. Keep that in mind, remember who you truly are, and if you have become what others have told you, you can always change that for what you truly, deeply want. So as for practical advice, I suggest you reveal to "your people" that you are female, how you convey that, is the only thing that truly matters as hard as it is to realize and accept this at times. Will you walk towards them head hanging and say "sorry I am a woman"? Or will you show them what a wonderful thing that is? (How you convey that, well, I have a hard time thinking as a woman, and I am not too bothered by that to be sincere). The key there, is that you cannot fool people without fooling yourself, you have to see yourself as the wonderful woman that you are, in order to convey it. Cant say I feel too good about myself now, I would not hesitate to break a man in two if the alternative means me or those I care about getting hurt, but I had no idea I was throwing so much shit at a woman.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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