My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

Golf.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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