what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops