What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops