If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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I like to eat.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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