My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops