Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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