Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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WNBA

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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