Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Maths.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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