What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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