What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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