Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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eat a hot dog

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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