Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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