A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Death by kayak

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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