What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops