Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What do I hate? people

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops