A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Shltskc gw? G

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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