Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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