How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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