throbbing slobber

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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The government makes a good decision

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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fart

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Military intelligence.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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