Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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