a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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