What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops