how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops