Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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No

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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