Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops