Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Potassium? K.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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A bar walks into a man

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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