why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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