What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops