what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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