Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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