I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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my penis

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops