what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

jews

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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