Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops