What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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NEVER

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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