Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

12 in general

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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