A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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