An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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I'm Polish.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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