How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops