A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Everybody will die

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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