What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Johnny just finished his pie.

9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

GooglePlus.

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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