Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Knock knock! Yes?

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Hitler

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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