What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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fart

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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DANA

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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