Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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This is not a joke.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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