Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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