Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops